Noir at the BAR... er, uh... Café

I will be a reader at the NOIR AT THE BAR STL event taking place at Meshuggah Café this Friday, July 17th at 7:00 pm.  N@B is hosted by Jedidiah Ayres, and will feature Scott Phillips, Joseph Hirsch, and John F.D. Taff.  

For those who listen to the podcast I will be ending the show here in a week or so, and all episodes will subsequently be unavailable to download or stream.  Thank you to those who emailed me or otherwise commented on the podcast, I enjoyed doing it but will not have time once I start graduate school in the fall.  I am also doing some revisions on Shamble, including some adjustments to the plot that may differ from the episodes already released.  Thank you again for listening.  If you want to catch an episode before its gone go here.  

dolphins and chimps

Are you saying you would kill a dolphin?

No I’m saying I would kill a dolphin, if I had to, for food.

You would eat a dolphin?

If I had to.

But they’re intelligent.

How so?

They have feelings.  They recognize themselves in a mirror.  They’re almost as smart as humans.

That’s not saying much.

Its like eating a human.

Not the same.

Totally the same.

How is that the same?

They have sex for pleasure.


So do humans.


So basically you would eat a human.

Monkeys have sex for pleasure.


Yeah like chimps.  Bonobos have sex for pleasure.  They also kill for fun.

Chimps aren’t monkeys.

Whatever.  They’re as smart as dolphins.

So you would eat a chimp?


You would eat a chimpanzee and a dolphin?

Now that you mention it, yes, I guess I would.

You would murder these animals and eat them?

If I had to…

What scenario would have to come up for you to kill and eat a chimp.


No seriously, I want to know what circumstances you imagine where you would kill and eat a chimpanzee or dolphin.  You’ve never killed anything in your life.

You’re just being mean now.

No I want to know how your mind works.  How do we get to this moment where you are feasting on dolphins and chimps.

I don’t know, some kind of apocalyptic situation. 

You figure you’re going to encounter a lot of the dolphins after the world is destroyed?

Maybe I’m lost at sea.

Dolphins save people lost at sea.


They have been known to save people lost at sea.  

How's that?

They come right up to people, you know, floating on debris or whatever, and they let people hold onto their dorsal fin and swim them back to shore.  

So they come right up to you?


That’s when I would strike.

Cheap Fun! The Short Story Podcast is back

We return with episode #23 Worse, the next part of the crime serial started in episode #16, continued into episodes #21 and #22.  You can listen down below, or download through iTunes. Your choice really, whatever is convenient.  I don't care.  Maybe subscribe through iTunes would make me feel better about myself.  That way I get to see the little download stats go up.  It's cool though no pressure.  DO IT!